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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28092366">tis the damn season</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/darlinminds/pseuds/darlinminds'>darlinminds</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, based on the taylor swift song, because I am trash for evermore</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:15:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,456</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28092366</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/darlinminds/pseuds/darlinminds</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>based on tis the damn season by taylor swift.<br/>aelin returns home for christmas after years of being away. somethings have changed forever. others are just as familiar as she left them.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aedion Ashryver/Lysandra, Aelin Ashryver Galathynius | Celaena Sardothien/Rowan Whitethorn, Elide Lochan/Lorcan Salvaterre</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>45</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>tis the damn season</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>Aelin hasn’t been home for 4 years.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>4 years of expertly dodging every request from her mother to come back. Every text from Lysandra and Aedion, who have a child she’s never even met, blonde curls and bright emerald eyes only ever seen through the screen of her phone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She pretends to everyone that she doesn't miss it, but as the plane floats from the clouds and the acres of pine forest come into view something in her chest tugs. She hasn’t seen snow like that in forever. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Adarlan doesn’t really get snow. Nowhere gets snow like Terrasen gets snow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The snow reminds Aelin of Sam. Which is the entire reason she hasn’t wanted to see it for years. After the accident with Sam, every instinct in Aelin screamed to run. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She couldn’t stand any of it - the trees, the rivers, the snow. The bloody snow. The snow that Sam would track relentlessly on his phone before it arrived. Incessantly informing her of how many feet they were expected to get. Dragging her and Fleetfoot outside, arms wide, face upwards, as the first snowflakes fell. Aelin laughing as he pressed his freezing nose into her neck. Fleetfoot barking at the soft, white powder. Sam’s snowman, which was immediately destroyed by the dog. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe it was a bad idea to come back. Aelin tightens her grip ever so slightly on the arm rests of the chair. Her phone is face up in her lap, the lock screen a picture Fenrys took once of her, Sam and Fleetfoot all squished on the couch, Love Actually playing in the background. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She blinks, pushing back the tears that are blurring the Christmas lights of Terrasen into luminous sparkles in her vision. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The plane jolts as it lands, and they taxi in. The all clear is given for phones, and Aelin switches off airplane mode. Immediately, a stream of texts rush in, mostly from the group chat Aedion constructed of everyone coming to see Aelin at the airport. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Aedion: Fenrys, some time before christmas would be lovely.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Apparently Fenrys was a little behind this morning, in typical Fen fashion. She skims over Aedion shouting at him to hurry up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Lys: Willow wants Uncle Fen to get in the car. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fen: I’m on my way! Just for Willow!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fen: Oop, and because I miss Aelin, of course. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Aedion: Just hurry up, dude. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Judging from the time these texts had been sent, the group probably arrived at the airport half an hour ago. As she walks down the connector bridge, she rubs her hands together, fiddling with her passport. She’s not too sure why she’s so nervous to see her family. Maybe it’s the fact she left without barely saying goodbye. Aelin pushes that from her mind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All through passport control, she’s wondering how she’s supposed to interact with a child. Aelin’s not brilliant with children. She’s good with teenagers - she spends every day trying to interest them in Shakespeare, of course she’s good with teenagers. But Willow is 2. At least, Aelin thinks she’s 2. She can’t enthuse to a two year old about the brilliance of Romantic era poetry. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Aedion: Are you almost here? Lys has just taken Willow to the bathroom.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Aelin: I’m at passport. Will be 2 mins. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She smiles at the lady who directs her towards the exit and bag collection. Meet her family first, and then get bags, she reminds herself. Aelin’s been on her own for a while now, she finds it quite easy to forget about other responsibilities. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She checks her phone as she walks, just as a distraction. It’s just Aedion telling her where they are. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aelin takes a deep breath behind the automatic doors. There are more emotions bubbling than she anticipated, which throws her off slightly. Aelin’s usually queen of cool, calm and collected, she has to be, regularly trying to wrangle a class of 30 rowdy 15 year olds, but she doesn’t do too well with long held feelings or unfamiliar emotions. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Someone shoves past her, swearing at her for being in the way, violently yanking Aelin from her stressing. She restrains herself from sharing a few choice words at the individual and instead makes her way towards the doors. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They swoosh open, cool, Terrasen breeze hitting her full on and that- that is home. This is the feeling she has been craving for years. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her eyes flit over the people standing, awaiting loved ones, just like Aedion and Lysandra and Fenrys and little Willow will be doing. Because that’s what she is to them - a loved one. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then, she spots them. Aedion is leaning against a pram, on his phone, Lysandra’s head on his shoulder, laughing at Fenrys who’s bouncing Willow up and down on his hip. And just like that, the sixth sense that Aedion has always had is flipped back on, and he knows she’s there immediately. His identical eyes raise from his phone to meet hers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The corner of her mouth quirks up as he steps towards her, looking like he might start crying at any moment. She speeds up, because Aedion in his trance like state is not moving very quickly at all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She barely even sees his face before she’s engulfed in his arms. These arms, which have held her entire childhood and every secret and every game and every joke. She’d forgotten the height of him, the familiar way he smelt like home, which all comes rushing back in an avalanche of wordless understanding that passes between the two of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aelin had intended not to cry, but that’s all gone out the window at a rapid rate, and the shoulder of Aedion’s Christmas jumper is getting damper. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dada sad?” A small, delicate voice comes from below them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, sweetheart,” Lys chuckles, “he’s happy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aelin pulls out of the hug with Aedion, both of their eyes rimmed red, and they chuckle at each other. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She looks at her best friend, holding the tiny hand of her daughter, and is suddenly overcome with a wave of guilt. They were supposed to be there for each other, do the whole ‘I’ll be the aunt of your child’ thing together, but instead selfishness, as it always does with her, dragged her away from it all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lys, I’m -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you say sorry I am going to start a scene in an airport,” Lysandra threatens, wrapping her arms around the shorter girl. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aelin tries and fails to stop the tears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Four years was too long, she decides. So long. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My god, Ace, when did you get so emotional?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She knows it’s Fenrys, and her immediate reaction is her middle finger. She doesn't even stop hugging Lysandra. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aelin Galathynius, not in front of a</span>
  <em>
    <span> child</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Lysandra says in exasperation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Right. Willow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shit,” she looks at Lysandra, who’s trying very hard not to laugh at her, “Sugar, I meant sugar, obviously. Sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aelin pulls an unsure face, and tries to ignore Aedion who is practically wetting himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve been in the vicinity of my child for 5 minutes, Ae, and you’re corrupting her already.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She sticks her tongue out at him, because that’s child friendly, and turns to Fenrys, who is leaning on his hand like he’s watching an engaging film. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aelin opens her arms, awaiting a hug. Usually, Fenrys is like a golden retriever, and an obsessor for being overly affectionate. It concerns her slightly that he’s not the one initiating the hug. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fenrys raises an eyebrow at her, his beautiful face showing no emotion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Four years?” He says, his voice cracking slightly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aelin feels her stomach drop and her heart rate incline. She lowers her arms, wrapping them around her instead. She doesn’t dare to look him in the face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You could’ve told me you were leaving at least.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’s acutely aware of Aedion talking to Willow behind them, dragging the child's attention away from Aelin being a general mess of a human. Her hands are cold and slightly sweaty. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, Ae, 4 years? 4 </span>
  <em>
    <span>years</span>
  </em>
  <span>? And nothing? Your cousin and best friend had a baby, for god's sake, and you weren't even here. They got </span>
  <em>
    <span>married</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And they won't say anything, because they don't want to scare you off, but Ae. Come on.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She glances up at Fenrys, and there are tears running down his cheeks. Aelin physically feels her heart break. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, Fen. I really am,” her voice is thick with emotion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know - I know you are Ae. I’m not mad at you, I was at the start, when you just up and left me, but now I’m just sad, Aelin. Sad that you missed 4 years of our lives. Sad that we couldn’t help you -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He walks over to her and engulfs her in the warmest, safest hug Aelin has ever experienced. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“- we couldn’t bloody help you, Ae. I didn’t even know if you were okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The intensity of the situation Aelin abandoned her family with sits heavily on her heart.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fen,” Lys gently taps on his arm, her eyes soft and maternal, “we can discuss this later.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Donuts!” Willow exclaims from where she is in Aedions arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lys offers Aelin an apologetic smile, “we promised her donuts if she came.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aelin chuckles through her stream of tears, “I haven't even introduced myself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A shadow of emotion flies over Lysandra’s face, and Aelin knows she’s upset that she has to introduce herself to Willow at all, that she hasn’t just been a natural, sturdy presence in the toddlers life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aelin approaches Willow in Aedion’s arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” she’s not too sure how to introduce herself to the child, “I’m Aelin.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Willow turns nervous, burying her face in Aedions neck, who glances at Lysandra. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aunty Aelin, remember Willa? We told you she was coming to visit, baby,” Aedion says. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Willow nods, but doesn’t uncover her face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s probably just tired,” Lys strokes Willow's hair back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That one movement makes Aelin realise just how much she’s missed. She missed this whole process of Lysandra becoming a mother. Aedion becoming a father. And the only person she has to blame is herself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I- I just need to grab my bags, I’ll be two seconds,” Aelin’s acutely aware she’s escaping, as she always does but she can’t stop herself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll come, Fen and Lys can take Willow back to the car and we’ll meet them there,” Aedion calls after her, passing Willow to Lys and pressing a kiss to her forehead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aelin waits for her cousin, and tries very very hard to ignore the pain in her chest as Willow babbles away to Fenrys. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>xx</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The car journey home isn’t as bad as Aelin thought it’d be. Aedion’s music taste has only got worse over the years, it turns out, and Willow and Fenrys are having a full blown conversation about Christmas. It’s pretty one-sided, but Willow seems cheerful. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aelin spends a majority of the time letting this bubble of normality they’ve created wash over her, looking outside at the familiarity of the countryside. At least one thing hasn’t changed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They pull away from the main road, and every house they pass is coated in Christmas lights. Terrasen does the best Christmas lights.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aelin’s parent’s street looks the same as it always has, right down to the way the hedgerow has been trimmed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They drive past one house, also covered in Christmas lights, where a tall figure is playing with a large dog. The person isn’t what catches her attention. It’s the truck on the drive that does it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He still has that old thing?” The words leave her mouth before she can even register them in her head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She looks over at Fenrys, who has a shit-eating grin. If Willow wasn’t around, she’d be swearing violently right now. Aedion raises an eyebrow at her in the rearview mirror. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course you’d notice Rowan Whitethorn’s house,” Fenrys chuckles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait - he </span>
  <em>
    <span>lives </span>
  </em>
  <span>there?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rowan used to live on the other side of town, a trek away from Aelin’s house. She knew how far the trip was, she’d walked it enough times. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, he moved in with his wife -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“His </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” She exclaims, completely unable to conceal her shock. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have been gone a while, Ae,” Lys says softly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no, no,” Aelin clarifies, “I’m not upset or anything, we were 18 when we left it, for god's sake. I was just surprised.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aelin and Rowan’s high school romance had been exactly that - a high school romance. It lasted about 8 months, and Aelin would defend to her grave that she no longer felt anything for him. She’d be lying, but she’d still defend it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh, also, if you happen to bump into him,” Aedion says, exchanging a quick glance with Lysandra, who seemed to know exactly what he was about to say, “don’t mention his wife. Lyria, uh, she died. About two years ago now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aelin doesn’t say anything, just nods. Her chest aches for Rowan - she’s a little bit too familiar with that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They pull up outside Aelin’s parents house, Willow chatting away about ‘Granma’ and ‘Granpap.’ </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aedion lifts his daughter out of the car, and makes his way towards the house, Fenrys following behind them. Lysandra goes to grab Willow's stuff from the car, and meets Aelin around the back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aelin hauls her suitcase from the car, placing it down on the drive as Lys locks the car. A lump rises in Aelins throat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Doin’ okay?” Her friend asks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’s not sure she has the words, so she just settles for what she hopes in a convincing nod and smile. From Lysandra’s unsure returning smile, she’s not entirely sure it was effective. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first step through the front door nearly knocks Aelin off her feet. It smells exactly like she thought it would. Home, her mum’s baking and her dad’s mulled wine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aelin,” her mother is standing in the hallway, her father just behind her. Neither of them have aged a day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The air whooshes from her lungs at the sight of her parents. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She manages a weak ‘hey’ before she is scooped up into their arms, and she feels like she’s 8 again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fireheart,” Rhoe, her father, sighs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Again, these are more people Aelin has hurt by leaving. She hates 20 year old Aelin for up and leaving like she did. She hates 24 year old Aelin for waiting this long to come back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I missed you guys,” she manages, the tears rapid now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her mother takes her face between her hands, and Aelin’s soul feels 10 times lighter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You could’ve come back, baby,” Evalin says, her blue eyes mirrors of her daughters. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know, mum,” she’s unsure if her parents will understand her seemingly pathetic reasoning for her lack of visits, “I couldn’t. Not after - after everything. Just, I had to get away. And I’m sorry. I missed you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her mother seems to appreciate that they can discuss this in further depth later, and Rhoe places a hand on her shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re back now, Fireheart. And that’s all that matters.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>xx</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Two days later, Aelin has practically adapted back to life with her parents. They had a firm conversation, involving lots of tears, and now everyone is in better spirits. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fenrys practically forgave Aelin the moment she offered him a bottle of wine. Lys and Aedion haven’t even broached the subject with her, and Willow just seems unsure of Aelin as a whole. She’s tried pretty hard with the toddler, but she’s new and scary and Willow isn’t her biggest fan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After another failed attempt to make friends with Willow, Aelin decides to take a drive alone. Being with everyone is lovely, but when you live alone, you get used to it, and Aelin could do with some downtime. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She borrows Fenrys’ car, who seems to just be staying with her parents for the break, and starts driving. Aelin doesn’t really think where she's going, she just kind of ends up outside the old school. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She hadn’t planned to go for a walk, but given where she is she takes the opportunity. Leaving her car in the currently empty car park, she makes her way through the smallest gap in the hedge, which leads to what once was a path. Despite its extreme overgrown appearance now, Aelin knows this was once a path because she used to take it every night after school. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The bushes eventually ease up and become a large, sprawling field. The vast open space makes her miss Fleetfoot, who’s staying with Dorian in Adarlan. The snow makes the trek up the field about ten times more arduous than it needs to be, but Aelin focuses on the fact she can see her breath, and pushes onwards. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At the top of the field there's another patch of forest, which she expertly makes her way through. This area is slightly less overgrown, implying to her that someone may regularly come this way. It strikes her as strange as the path doesn't lead anywhere of any significance to the average individual. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When she breaks through the other side of the forest, she is rewarded with the purpose of her trip. Just behind the forest is a derelict, completely insignificant bench. Aelin’s heart warms at the sight of it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She pats it slightly, just to make sure it won't collapse under her weight, and then sits. From the bench, Aelin can see a majority of Terrasen. It’s beautiful. Dusk descends, and slowly each house flickers on their christmas lights. It looks like a tiny, toy town. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a while Aelin thinks about what her life could've been, if she’d stayed. But then she would’ve never met her Adarlan friends. She thinks about what life could’ve been if Sam hadn’t decided that driving to her house in February in a blizzard seemed like an essential trip. She thinks about the ring that she found in the top draw of his dresser when she cleaned his apartment. It hangs around her neck now, atop her heart. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The snap of twigs lurches Aelin from all of her </span>
  <em>
    <span>what if’s</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s followed by shouting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That bloody dog - Maverick!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aelin freezes. She’d recognise that accent anywhere. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The biggest German Shepherd Aelin has ever seen in her life comes bounding around the corner. He, presumably Maverick, runs over to her, pushing his face into her hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello, you,” Aelin says, ruffling his head, “Are you Maverick? Are you supposed to be here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just pants at her, but the gleaming name tag on his collar would imply that he is Maverick. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think you should find your owner, Maverick,” she doesn't really want him to go anywhere, he’s very cute, “I have a dog too, uhuh, yes I do, I think you’d be brilliant friends with Fleetfoot, isn't that right? Would you like to have a friend? I think -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aelin?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She looks up from the dog at the man standing before her. He looks shocked at her appearance, which isn’t surprising due to the fact she hasn't been around for years. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His surprise doesn't take away from how handsome he’s become. 18 year old Rowan Whitethorn was a catch, but 25 year old Rowan Whitethorn is positively gorgeous. His hair is shorter now, but still silver. Aelin always loved the colour of his hair. There are things he didn't have as an 18 year old, one of them being serious muscles, visible through the navy sweater he’s wearing, and the other the swirling tattoo making its way up his neck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing here?” He asks, still evidently confused, “I thought you left.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I did,” she coughs slightly, “but I’m back, Christmas and all that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He indicates at the spot on the bench next to her, “may I?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aelin nods, moving over slightly so there’s more room for him. Rowan throws a stick for Maverick, who sprints off after it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s got endless energy,” Rowan explains as he sits.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So does mine,” Aelin’s glad for this bit of common ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then, she realises Rowan doesnt know she has a dog.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Her names Fleetfoot,” Aelin explains, “she’s three and absolutely crazy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rowan chuckles slightly. It’s deep and hearty and makes Aelin warm on the inside. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s quiet for a minute, just looking at the lights, and Aelin feels like she understands what he’s thinking. There’s always been that with Rowan - the mutual understanding without saying anything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Remember when we used to run up that field after school to make it here in time for the lights?” He says.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything was so much simpler, Aelin thinks but doesn’t say. Rowan gives her a glance that implies to her he’s thinking the exact same thing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They sit for a bit, Aelin takes over the duty of throwing Maverick the stick. It’s almost completely dark now, and flakes of snow are starting to fall. Rowan tips his head back and closes his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I missed you, you know,” he says after a while, “there were some times, god Ae, there were seriously some times I could’ve done with you around.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I needed you too, Ro,” she explains, “but I needed to get away. I couldn’t stay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He places his hand over hers on the bench. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know, I know you couldn’t stay,” Rowan takes a deep breath, “I’m sorry I couldn’t help you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry I couldn’t help you either,” she says. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There's silence again, but like everything with Rowan, it’s comfortable and familiar. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did we get here, hey? How is this how we ended up?” Aelin just starts talking. She’s not too sure where she’s going with it, but she’s sure Rowan will try to understand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rowan takes a moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference,” he recites. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aelin turns to look at him. The sharpness of his jaw and muscles in his neck are accentuated as he faces the sky. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you reciting Robert Frost to me, Rowan Whitethorn?” She’s secretly surprised, he never paid much attention in English class. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I figured you could give me some meaning, English teacher,” He lowers his head and looks at her. His eyes are green and warm, just as she remembers them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well,” she raises an eyebrow at him to make sure he’s not joking with her, and he nods, “it’s about the continuity of choices throughout life, I guess.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hums, deep and in the back of his throat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But he doesn’t say if it was good or bad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s the point,” Aelin continues, “it’s deliberately written to be ambiguous, but it does imply that hindsight is a gift.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So what he’s saying is that we have to make choices, but we won’t know whether they're good or not until after they happen?” Rowan sighs, “I don't like the sound of that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Eh,” Aelin agrees, “me neither.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe things happen for a reason,” he says, stroking Mavericks' head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Philosophical Rowan is a new one for Aelin, but not unwelcome. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe they do,” she replies. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two of them sit for about half an hour more, until Maverick starts getting impatient. They walk across the field together, chatting about everything and nothing, easily falling back into the rhythm of their teenage years. Everything has changed in the four years Aelins been gone, everything feels awkward and changed, apart from Rowan, who feels like a constant. Just slightly more mature, and understanding.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His truck, as it turns out is parked right behind her car. She almost laughs at how they still park in the same spaces. He leans against the truck door for a while, which is extremely attractive, before inviting her back to his. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aelin finds herself following Rowan’s truck back to his in Fenrys’ car. She doesn’t think anyone at home will be too concerned of her whereabouts. They can text if they are.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rowan’s house is beautiful. It’s comfortable and warm and secure and everything about it screams Rowan Whitethorn. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He offers her wine the moment she walks through the door, and they make their way to the couch. They do nothing all evening but watch films they used to love as teens, and Rowan doesn't even complain when she sticks her freezing feet under his legs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For the first time in four years, Aelin feels her soul rest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>xx</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It becomes a regular routine, Aelin and Rowan, over the holidays. She starts sleeping most of the morning, until Willow, who decides to like Aelin a little more every day, comes and bounces on her bed under Lysandra’s watchful gaze. Then, she’ll take Fen’s truck, who’s usually still asleep, and drive to meet Rowan at their spot. It’s a nice arrangement that usually ends up with them snuggled on the couch drinking wine and watching movies. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On Christmas Eve, Aelin is awoken to the pinging of her phone. She rolls over to grab it, and of course, Fenrys has constructed a new group chat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fen: Howdy all, anyone down for a Christmas Eve party tonight?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aelin shakes her head, chuckling slightly. They always used to throw Christmas Eve parties which usually ended in quite a messy state. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Elide: Lor and I are down, who’s house?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ro: Mine’s free if you want.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aelin’s slightly surprised he’s offering, and apparently so is the rest of the groupchat, who are silent for about a minute.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fen: That would be beautiful! I’ll bring drinks - they’re at mine.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Aelin: So you don't live with my parents? That’s news to me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Perhaps Aelin should’ve introduced the fact she was home in a slightly more gentle manner, because the group falls quiet again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Elide: AELIN?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fen: Did I forget to tell you all she’s coming? Oops - sorry. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Lorcan: Aelin's back? It’s been bloody long enough. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Aelin: Nice to see you too, Salvaterre. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Elide: I MISSED YOU!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Aelin: Missed you too, El.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fen: See you all at 7!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aelin doesn’t do much for the rest of the day. She makes a gingerbread house with Willow, who’s more concerned with eating the frosting than the construction process. Aedion stands laughing at Aelin's exasperated expression - she does not have the patience for small children. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fenrys and Aelin walk to Rowan’s at 6:50. They’re a bit late considering they said they’d help set up, but Fenrys wanted glittery nails. Also, they decided to start on the pre drinks a bit early. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aelin’s wearing a forest green dress, it’s a bit too small in every aspect, but Aelin loves how it looks. Fenrys also compliments the way it makes her butt look. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arm in arm, the duo ring Rowan’s doorbell. There’s music playing already as he opens the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fenrys, slightly tipsy, immediately hugs Rowan, who laughs and invites him inside. He heads straight to the kitchen where all the drinks are.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aelin very much likes the way Rowan’s eyes dip over her dress, then back up to her face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You look beautiful,” he compliments. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, you’re extremely handsome.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’s not lying, he does look stunning this evening, and the pre-drinks with Fen have really taken the edge off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rowan chuckles, “come on in, everyone’s here already.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aelin barely makes it through the door when she’s tackled by a short brunette. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oof - Elide,” she wraps her arms around her friend, “hey.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe you left, bitch,” Elide is crying, and Aelin gets the feeling she has also been drinking a while. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aelin, in her tipsy state, feels herself getting emotional too. Rowan places a comforting hand on her shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, El, I really am.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A tall, brooding figure rounds the corner from the kitchen carrying two cups. He sees Elide’s figure pressed into Aelin and sighs slightly, like he was expecting this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She moped for about a year after you left,” Lorcan says, placing the cups down on the side, “a call really would’ve been too hard, huh Galathynius?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aelin feels Rowan’s hand tighten on her shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His voice is low as all he threatens is Lorcans name, just as Fenrys sighs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on, Lor, leave it out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lorcan, completely unphased, raises his hands, “hey, it was her decision to leave without telling anyone, not mine. That’s not on me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He disappears back into the kitchen. Elide looks up at Aelin, eyes still red.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, Ae, I just missed you,” she apologises, which makes Aelin’s heart sink further. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, no, it’s not your fault at all, I shouldn't have left you,” she squeezes Elide’s hands, “besides, you know Lorcan and I, we’re always better after a few drinks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elide nods her head at Aelin, then follows Lorcan back into the kitchen. Fenrys runs his hand across Aelin’s shoulders as he also makes his way towards the kitchen, presumably to try and put Lorcan in lighter spirits.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh,” Aelin crosses her arms over herself, “why do I get the feeling I shouldn’t have come.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rowan puts his arm around her, pulling her into his side. The pine scent of him is so comforting that perhaps this alone makes it worth coming. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s just Lorcan, ignore him,” he assures her, resting his chin on her head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aelin hums slightly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Want a drink, babe?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The endearment obviously slips out, because Aelin’s not sure she’s ever seen Rowan look more mortified in his life. She almost laughs, because she’s glad it's not just her that feels so at ease with the casually affectionate ways they’ve fallen back into. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just for the weekend,” she jokes with him, standing on her tiptoes and pressing a kiss to his cheek, “c’mon, let’s get drinks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As the evening goes on and drinks are drank tensions between Lorcan and Aelin ease considerably. By 2am, they’re sitting in front of the log fire holding comfortable, barely translatable, conversation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rowan’s sat on the couch, Aelin’s leaning into him, telling Elide all about how long it took Willow to even talk to her. Fenrys, Lorcan and Rowan are all passionately discussing football from the weekend before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s suddenly so easy, this being back, being here. She could’ve done this so long ago. She could’ve come back years ago and done this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rowan, as if reading her mind, squeezes her shoulder. She tilts her head to look up at him, and he discreetly shakes his head, green eyes serious. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You’re here now. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her heart warms at the gesture, and she ducks her head in a subtle nod as she turns back to Elide, who’s eyes flit between the two of them, suspicion evident on her face. Aelin shrugs at her, feigning ignorance to whatever her friend is implying. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elide and Lorcan are the first to go to bed - Rowan, playing the generous host, made up everyone’s rooms. They stagger upstairs, Elide leaning into Lorcan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Keep it down - whatever you do!” Fenrys shouts after them, which earns him a swift middle finger from Lorcan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aelin frowns at all the noise he’s making. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fenrys chuckles for a minute, then downs the rest of his wine, before standing determinedly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m going too,” he slaps Rowan on the shoulder as he passes, “lovely evening, mate.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rowan just nods at his friend as he stumbles his way up the stairs as Aelin chuckles into his chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s so peaceful now, just the two of them. Rowan runs his hand over Aelin’s hair, as she nestles down into the couch and his chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tired, Fireheart?” He asks, voice so soft and gentle Aelin could cry. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She</span>
  <em>
    <span> is </span>
  </em>
  <span>tired, but she also doesn’t want to go to sleep. Instead, she pushes herself up slightly, so her face is level with his. Rowan’s gaze warms as she flicks her eyes from his to his mouth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He reaches one of his hands up to hold her cheek, just as Aelin lowers her lips to his. It’s a gentle kiss, there’s no urgency. It’s shared losses and the past four years and everything they should've had - might’ve had - and the life that is still to come. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything about it feels right, like they have one soul that's been separated for so painfully long and this is the reunion. This is the celebration that is fireworks and people flooding the streets and immense, indescribable, incomprehensible happiness. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aelin remembers her earlier phrase, ‘just for the weekend,’ and thinks, stuff it. This is it. She knows Rowan is it for her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She breaks out of the kiss, confident in her next words. For the first time in four years she’s completely sure with this decision.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not going back to Adarlan,” she says. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rowan’s face breaks into the biggest smile she’s ever seen, this is </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> right in her soul that it's painful, and he crashes her lips back onto his. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It always led to you, anyway,” Aelin whispers into the kiss, “everything has always led to you.”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
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